LTE Publisher -- Masuda Floyd
Aug 082011

Here are 21 most funny, yet real classified ads that actually appeared in some newspaper somewhere around the world.

I hope you enjoy these little nuggets…I certainly did! You know…I really love what I do. I’m so grateful. Oh wait…that’s another topic for another day. Today it’s 21 Funniest Real Classified Ads to tickle your funny bone.

Read them after the break.

Surprised Cow


Image from Madison

Pony for sale. Looks like small horse.

For sale: a quilted high chair that can be made into a table, potty chair, rocking horse, refrigerator, spring coat, size 8 and fur collar.
Wow so versatile.

Braille dictionary for sale. Must see to appreciate.
Alright, I’ll get my seeing-eye dog.

Help wanted, singer for rock band. Must be female or male.
So few choices these days.

Wanted: Part-time married girls for soda fountain in sandwich shop.
And the rest of the time they are…?

Lost: small brown poodle. Reward. Neutered. Like one of the family.
These guys are serious about planned parenthood.

Tired of working for only $9.75 per hour? We offer profit sharing and flexible hours. Starting pay: $7 - $9 per hour.
Only those who skipped math class need apply.

Three-year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preferred.
Well, at least he/she will have three years of experience.

Wanted. Widower with school-age children requires person to assume general housekeeping duties. Must be capable of contributing to growth of family.
Ummm…not touching this one.

Hummels – Largest selection ever. "If it’s in stock, then we have it!"
No kidding!

Christmas sale. Handmade gifts for the hard-to-find person.
Now…should I buy the gifts before I find him or after?

Exercise equipment: Queen Size Mattress & Box Springs - $175.
Perhaps the dude who wanted the housekeeper might find this useful.

Wanted, man to take care of cows that does not smoke or drink.
I’m relieved; now my bowl of milk & cereal will finally stop smelling like vodka and cigarettes.

Alzheimer's center prepares for an affair to remember.

Nordic Track $300 hardly used, call Chubby.
Have you ever felt this way…you just want to change your name?

Tombstone: Standard gray. A good buy for someone named Grady.
Yikes! The name situation just went from bad to worse.

Snow Blower for sale…only used on snowy days.
I like truth in advertising.

Bill’s Septic Cleaning: “We Haul American-Made Products."
Made in America, with pride.

Harrisburg Postal Employee Gun Club.
Are you sure this is a good idea?

Turkey for sale. Partially eaten. Only eight days old. Both drumsticks still intact.
Good advertising – highlighting the positives.

For sale: One pair of used dentures, only 2 teeth missing.
For anyone thinking of buying that turkey.

Have you come across some funny classified ads lately? Post them in the comments section below.

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© 2011, Masuda Floyd. With Proper Credit - You HAVE PERMISSION to PUBLISH this article on your own blog, ezine, newsletter etc., either electronically or in print, FREE OF CHARGE, as long as you leave the article title, author name, body and resource box intact (means NO CHANGES) with the LINKS made ACTIVE.

  • Chrissy

    You have to love these! My favorite has to be the secptic tank one!

  • Lourd

    Just funny…these ads all speak of one of the best features of human nature: that ability to make ourselves funny…

  • Anonymous

    I am involved in advertising and promotions and there are times that we intentionally make something funny and unique to draw attention from the intended audience. These ads are really funny and though some error are clearly visible, they are successful in standing out in a very crowded marketplace. I am sharing here two funny ads I researched.

    Toaster: A gift that every member of the family appreciates. Automatically burns toast.Man wanted to work in dynamite factory. Must be willing to travel.