Since time immemorial humans have been fascinated by the concept of the Soulmate (or Soul Mate), also known as the Twin Soul or the Twin Flame. Philosophers and aficionados of theosophy have tried to define the concept and uncover the reason why there is this drive to find one's soul mate - a word that often means a person's perfect companion, the one who complements and completes that person's every need - physical, emotional, intellectual and spiritual.
Myths about how Soulmates came to be
One myth says when souls are sent into this earth they are broken in half and two different people are born with each half and for as long as they live they try to find the other half to become complete. Every culture has a story. One of my favorites is the ancient Greek story told by Aristophanes in Plato's Symposium, as an attempt to explain the original nature of humans.
The story goes that in the beginning humans resembled the celestial gods. They were round folks - two people joined together back-to-back, facing away from each other. They had two of everything - two heads, two pairs of eyes,two pairs of hands and legs, two sets of internal organs. The only thing that they had in common and shared was their one heart-soul.
During this age there were three sexes. The Children of the Sun were all males, Children of the Earth were all females and the Children of the Moon were the androgynous group made up of the man-woman pairing of the round folk - and they were the most common.
Why Humans did not need Love
Humans were whole. They did not need companionship; there was no sorrow, no loneliness. The only thing they didn't have in this world was love (or desire). There was no need for love or desire because the heart-soul was complete and there was no needing, wanting or desiring - the shared soul was fulfilled.
Now because of having this peaceful and fulfilled soul, humans were very strong, both mentally and physically. Eventually this made them quite arrogant and they decided they didn't need the gods anymore. So they climbed Mt. Olympus and waged an attack on the gods.
The Wrath of the Gods
This enraged Zeus. With the consent and help of all the other gods he decided humans needed to be taught a lesson and be put in their place once and for all. He took his scissors of lightening bolt and in one swift motion severed each human in half! He then took each half-human and sewed up their backs and tied the thread in a knot in front, creating the belly button and the marks down our spine. This he did so humans would forever remember the consequences of their arrogance and furthermore never try such a thing again, otherwise, they would be cut in half again! Then to make absolutely sure that humans would not try such mischief ever again the gods created great storms and floods so that the half-humans would be scattered to the farthest reaches of the earth.
The Absence of Love
It is said that when the round folks were cut in half, such was the shock, that the half creatures in their pain and agony were running towards each other face-to-face, embracing one another, clinging to each other, trying to become one again. Humans now resembled the Olympian gods, but there was nothing god-like in them anymore. They were pathetic creatures - sad, lonely and without any love or desire. Without the love for life, a desire for being, they lost the will to go on and humans started to die.
Love is Born
This worried the gods very much, because with no humans around, who would worship the gods? So Zeus sent Eros the god of love (desire) to give human beings the one thing that they never had before - love. With love they felt desire - the will to live and love and move forward. With love in their hearts they remembered and felt the need to look for their lost half. So began the search for one's other half!
This is the original nature of humans - to want to love and be loved - to want to be whole again - to rejoin his/her lost half. The gods noticed that humans became so passionate about finding their one-true-love that in everything they did their desire showed. They started to do things they had never done before… they wrote poems and songs; they climbed the highest mountains and crossed the deepest oceans just to be "reunited" with their true-love. They would spend a lifetime searching for their true-love and then be willing to give their very lives for the one they loved.
Return to Love
Zeus was so touched by mankind's ability to love so deeply and be loyal to the one they loved, that he could not resist helping these poor half-creatures in their quest to find their other half. So he made a promise to all humans - every time a man or woman in their self-less, life-long search to find their other half, should actually find the other one, Zeus would personally charge Hephaestus, armorer to the gods, to take the two split souls and forge them back together on his anvil. It is said that anything forged on Hephaestus' anvil can never be broken. Thus these reunited halves shall become whole again and will continue through eternity as one soul.
How do you find your Soulmate
Perhaps every "soul" we meet is a soul mate of a special kind! Each encounter with another "soul" is an opportunity to learn and grow and connect at a deeper level with one another and the universe. These lessons we learn, bring us that much closer to becoming a more loving person, if we so choose to be. Gandhi said, "… be the change you want to see." How about a variation, "Become the love you want in your life."
All the definitions of "soul mate" have one common thread. They claim the other person is a reflection of one's own soul - their other half. How can we claim to love our reflection or our other half, if we cannot love ourselves - for the other half is part of our self, is it not?
Self-love is not at all selfishness. Self love is about caring for yourself just like you would care for another person. Self-love is about the ability to see our own shortcomings and overcoming them; but not to beat ourselves over it. Self-love is self-confidence and self-respect, but not arrogance. Self love is about being able to decide what is good for others as well as what is beneficial for you - it is about being fair to yourself also. Only then can we be fully present and available for the one's we love - be it in personal or business relationships.
As the Sufi poet Rumi (1207-1273) wrote, "The minute I heard my first love story I started looking for you, not knowing how blind that was. Lovers don't finally meet somewhere. They're in each other all along."
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